That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
