I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
