So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
