so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just googled if crying burns calories
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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