They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what day is it and did you see me today?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
