i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
