shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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