You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
