Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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