So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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