Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
