Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
