But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
my liver is dry heaving
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
