Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
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Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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