# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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