i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
