They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize