I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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