can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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