flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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