I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize