I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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