At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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