I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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