I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
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I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
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I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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