Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
