You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
