Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
