Best friends brother. Beat that.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
