grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
