You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
