there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
