I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
