Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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