I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
someone get that fucking seahorse.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
