How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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