Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize