I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
