I just cut my nipple shaving
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
