she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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