it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
