Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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