I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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