I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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