im about as happy as oj after his trial
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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