I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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