Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."

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(636): View more from Missouri

I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.

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(360): View more from Washington

Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.

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(315): View more from New York

In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man

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(623): View more from Arizona

I'd still fuck that

(602): View more from Arizona

You'd fuck a dead moose

(623): View more from Arizona

Quite possible

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(479): View more from Arkansas

No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.

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