D3 body, D1 cock
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
