He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
