White coat. Heels.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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