You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
