He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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