I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
