she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
