let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Can you bring me the toilet please
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
