he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
