This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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