i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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