i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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