it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
